


$3000

by ghostbusters



Series: pretty woman verse [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pretty Woman Fusion, Drug Use, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-01-17 04:59:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1374703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostbusters/pseuds/ghostbusters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what they say, it's all about money.<br/>(The Levi/Erwin "Pretty Woman" AU that no one asked for but is happening anyway.)<br/>-UPDATES ON HIATUS-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. oh Cinderella

**Author's Note:**

> pretty woman is an awful movie but i love it so much. it's such trash but the good kind of trash. i also found the original script, called '$3000' and it's sooo much grittier and less cutesy than the actual movie. adapted it to fit these two losers. the script didn't have the happy ending that the movie did. will this? hmm.  
> technically takes place in the early 90s but that's only slightly relevant to the story in terms of monetary figures and the way this whole sketchy scene was back then in hollywood. warning for prostitution and drug use? kind of self-explanatory. eren/jean is a side pairing but it's not the focus. that's in another story. i'll stop rambling. good luck.

No matter what they say, it's all about money.

The night was cold. The neon was bright. He was panicking and hoped that the car stopped soon. His slim fingers inched towards the weapon stashed away where no one can see.

The car pulled up to the curb of the boulevard with screeching tires, allowing him to bolt from the passenger side, desperate to get away from a losing situation. The driver wasn't a usual customer and wasn't the kindest when he found out that the wig and the lipstick were all a farce to ease the minds of LA's seedier businessmen and low level Hollywood deviants. Most men were so desperate that they didn't care what Levi was packing. Some weren't so kind in the end. Levi scurried away as fast as he could, clutching a few crumpled bills in one hand from his previous customer. His other hand held down his stringy blonde wig against the chilly night breeze.

Levi slid down the wall of a thankfully deserted alleyway and organized his earnings. It had been a slow night so far, unfortunately. He pondered about the wad of bills stashed in the toilet tank back at his place and hoped that his freeloading roommates hadn't found it and stolen it. They needed rent money, fast. His roommates were just kids. Stupid kids with no grasp on the world it seemed. Levi wouldn't kick them out, back onto the streets of this awful town but they needed to learn somehow. He'd figure it out and force them to start earning their keep and stop wasting all his money on ways to dull their minds and rot their veins.

Voices echoed from the far end of the alley and while Levi could hold his own on these streets, he wasn't planning on getting into it with anyone tonight. Not after what happened with his last customer. He lit up a cigarette and slipped away from the alley, heels clicking on the cracked sidewalk as he shuffled past some girls digging through the nearby dumpster. Levi didn't even look at them as they fought over some discarded item. They were just part of the scenery.

The wind whipped his wig in every fly away direction. Levi couldn't be bothered to fix it anymore. He' wasn't looking for another customer now that the paranoia settled in. That wad of money was the only thing on his mind apart from the slow trails of smoke slipping past smeared, red lips. The street was quiet and cold, but mostly lonely. The shrieks of fame and excess existed only a short drive away while this section of the city sat forgotten by everyone but those desperate enough to slow down and cruise the streets.

The glowing Hotel Apartments sign cut the dim night with flickering neon in all its generic glory. The building was nothing to bat an eye at in passing. Levi passed a girl leaning against the streetlight next to the entrance way and gave a detached nod of acknowledgment. She glared at first, taking in the outfit of her competition, but softened when Levi passed by without hesitation or a challenging word. This was her claimed section for the night and Levi was perfectly fine letting her work this block. He preferred to do business somewhere separate from his place of living anyway, preferably working downtown where there are stars on the sidewalk under his heels. People pay more over there. Besides, it's safer to run and hide somewhere blocks away from this shitty apartment than to lead an unhappy or clingy customer back to where he lived.

He flicked the cigarette to the ground and grabbed onto the rusty bars of a fire escape to climb to the top floor of the building. Rent was due yesterday and Levi would rather avoid the landlord as long as possible, just in case that precious wad of money had disappeared.

A scowl broke out at the state that he found his usually pristine apartment in. He willingly sought out the lowest filth of the city and many viewed him the same, but he desperately tried not to live in filth as well. The place was usually kept to at least his most lax level of cleanliness, but his roommates must have fucked up again. They'd hear about it later for sure, but for the moment his two roommates were nowhere in sight. The blonde wig was tossed onto the couch as he tip-toed his way past the clutter and into the bathroom, careful not to step on any of the broken glass glimmering in the light streaming from streetlights outside.

Thankfully, the wad of cash was still hidden in a small plastic box in the tank. Levi winced as he pulled his hands back out and instantly washed them, frowning at the remnants of ash and cheap makeup littering the small sink. They never clean up after themselves. He hoped those stupid kids were out working. They needed the money.

He was about to start cleaning up the mess in the bathroom when someone climbed rough and loud through the same window that Levi had gracefully climbed through only minutes before.

“Who the fuck is out there?” He yelled, wielding a small but effective knife, the one he always kept tucked between the leather of his boot. He had a seemingly permanent bruise from where it pressed against his pale leg, hidden away. Levi peered out of the bathroom and saw a skinny boy tangled in a heap of his own limbs, one leg still clinging to the window sill.

“It's just me. I didn't know you'd be back so early,” came a meek voice.

The young boy was named Armin and his own stringy blonde hair was natural. He wasn't in the same line of work as his roommates and didn't need to hide behind lipstick and faux leather skirts and platinum blonde wigs. In the past, Levi had jokingly told him that he would make a killing on the streets with the right crowd, but Armin refused to even consider. For this, Levi was glad. If only he was so respectable.

“Why would that matter?” Levi lowered the knife and strutted into the room, kicking aside some trash. “And furthermore, why is this place a pigsty? It's disgusting.”

Armin sighed and crawled over to lean against the couch. The boy was incredibly twitchy and he avoided Levi's direct gaze. “Well. You know...”

“I'm not a mind reader.”

“You know how he gets. Eren...,” he mumbled the rest.

“The fuck did Eren do now?” Armin rubbed at his neck and looked away, unable to hide his guilt no matter how hard he tried. His leg was bouncing and Levi knew right then and there. He understood and sat down into the sagging armchair with a loud sigh. These fucking kids. “Is he high again?”

“Potentially.”

“Don't _potentially_ me. I can see you twitching. You promised me you'd clean up and watch him for me. Not fucking join in.”

“I'm sorry!” He had tears in his eyes as he sobbed out an apology. Levi rolled his eyes and sunk further in the awful chair. “I only did a little. I've had such a hard week and Eren can be so persuasive and...”

_ Don't talk to me about a hard week,  _ Levi thought. He let the boy ramble for a moment.

Levi barely listened as Armin flailed around his words and flimsy excuses. The boy was smart, but easily convinced by his friend. One day, he'd come across the two boys sitting under a bridge together with tattered suitcases and equally grimy clothing. They'd been thrown out of college and were hundreds of miles away from homes they could never return to. For some reason, Levi took pity on them and let them crash at his place until they made enough money to move into another apartment. He hated the cliché, but he saw himself in their terrified, strung out faces that day. He couldn't just keep walking.

Over a year and a half later, and Armin was still crying on his floor while Eren loaded up somewhere in this black hole of a town.

“Stop crying. Where's Eren?”

“I left him at the diner.”

“Well hopefully he's still there.” He grabbed Armin and hauled him off the floor. “Pull yourself together and own up to your mistake.”

“I'm sorry.” Armin repeated it again and again as Levi pushed him to the window.

“Say sorry one more time and I swear-”

“ _Alright_. Alright. I'm ok.” Armin wiped his eyes and suppressed the shudders that were wrecking his body before making his exit.

Levi slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for the window. He stopped and grabbed his wig as an afterthought. Rent was past due and he'd like at least the use of the front door for a little while this month. Since his two idiot roommates seemed to have blown all their money again, his work for the night wasn't over yet.

\- - - - 

Levi and Armin hurried along the street, a little more activity brewing than before. The drunks were beginning to wander home from the bars and the junkies were searching for that needful fix at this late night hour. Levi situated his wig as they rushed along. He was able to blend in during the day with his normal appearance, but most who walked the streets nightly recognized him as Isabelle, the hooker with knives in her boots. Most others in his line of work tended to avoid him when he was under alias and many didn't know him in the daylight. He preferred it that way.

A diner with peeling orange paint loomed across the street, covered in gang tags on one wall. It was a true assault to the eyes with its broken blinds and garish lighting streaming from the wide windows. Levi spotted Eren sitting near an unsavory looking crowd. He was laughing hysterically at something, practically draped across the lap of some smug, arrogant looking guy his age. Armin groaned and lingered behind Levi.

“What now?”

“He's still in there with Jean,” Armin answered in a small voice.

More bad news, what a damn surprise. Levi knew all about that kid. Failed actor and bad influence on the boys. Levi was trying to get them clean and this kid kept reeling them back in. He must be where those two got their stuff on this unfortunate night. Levi had broken up far too many of Jean and Eren's embarrassing fights and yet he still fiound those two huddled up together in disgusting diners like this more often than should ever happen. Levi took Armin by his thin wrist and forcibly pulled him across the street.

“Armin! And... Isabelle!” Eren shouted once hearing the slam of the small diner door. He faltered on addressing Levi, who was just glad that Eren at least had the decency to keep his identity under wraps. Levi was aware that Jean knew who he was from so many instances of dealing with his wrath following those stupid fights, but he didn't need his name shouted from the rooftops. He'd rather it be forgotten in passing.

“Playtime is over, brat.” Levi approached the table and stared Eren down. Eren cowered away and settled back against Jean, who looked ridiculous with some of Eren's makeup smudged on the side of his face. The boy just cockily grinned and whispered something to Eren, causing him to laugh and laugh, obviously high. Levi flicked his eyes to the side to see Armin lurking few feet away, expression hard and disapproving.

“I don't think he wants to go yet, isn't that right?” Jean said. Eren looked to Levi, unwavering in his stern expression. The thing about the otherwise irresponsible boy was that he listened to Levi, even in the midst of one of these episodes. He didn't dare argue with him, lest he be kicked to the curb.

Eren accepted defeat.“I should probably go,” he whined and then exchanged a few quiet words with his friend. Jean groaned and slipped a bag of something into Eren's hand before releasing his hold on the other. No. Not happening. There was no way Levi was letting Eren take that bag back to the apartment. Armin made a pained noise at the sight of the bag. Levi wished he could just deck the smug look off that Jean kid's face, but this wasn't the time or place.

Eren took his good time saying goodbye to Jean. Levi briefly averted his eyes in a grimace as they exchanged kisses and lingering touches. Their dynamic was rather fucked up and Levi had no interest in understanding it, let alone watching it happen.

He couldn't take it anymore, patience gone.“Alright, fuck this.” Levi grabbed Eren and yanked him off Jean. He snatched the bag of drugs from Eren's hand and threw it onto the grimy table like hot coals.

“Hey!” Eren dove to take the bag back but Levi held him away. The couple previously dazed behind the counter even looked up for a moment to watch the commotion. Eren spun around and latched onto Levi's shoulders, pleading with those big green eyes of his. “Please, just this last hit. I swear I'll stop after this. I promise.”

Armin tutted in annoyance from behind and crossed his arms, looking away when Eren tried to gain reassurance from him. He was still coming down from his earlier high, disgusted with how easily Eren had persuaded him and disgusted that he was trying to spiral even further down into this mess.

“That's not happening, kid.”

“He promised me, though! I worked hard for that,” Eren begged, just above a raspy whisper.

“I'll get you back another time,” Jean interjected with a wink. Levi yelled at him to shut up and to stay away from the boys.

Levi ignored Jean's answering laughter. “You owe me rent money, brat. So you're going to work. _Now_.” He shoved Eren into Armin and started to leave.

“Ha! What _are_ you, his pimp?” Jean began to laugh but stopped abruptly when a knife was thrust inches from his arrogant face. Levi glared across the table hard and cold before slipping his weapon back into his boot. Jean shook off his momentary fear and slid right back into that fucking grin of his. “I've heard talk that you're hiding a lot more than knives under that skirt, _Isabelle_.”

Levi turned and walked casually from the table, having enough of asshole teenagers for the night.“Talk is cheap.”

“You whores know all about cheap.”

“Real fucking clever.” The door closed with a tinkling of chimes too delicate for the streets outside.

\- - - -

“It's too cold out here.” Eren wrapped his arms around himself to suppress his shivering. His high faded fast once they left the diner and set up shop a few blocks away, a bit closer to town in the hopes of finding some late night bar customers. Armin had since gone back to the apartment, promising to clean the place up.

A few bars were within eye distance. Levi could see the bouncer from the closest one looking their way every now and then. The man probably wouldn't report them. They usually didn't. Most of the bouncers could give less of a fuck if prostitutes tried to pick up people nearby, as long as they don't loiter too long in front of their premises.

“You should have thought of that before losing your money on those cheap rocks the other day. And whatever the fuck that kid was giving you tonight.”

“I didn't give Jean any money tonight though, you don't understand...” Eren grumbled. He twirled his finger around strands of the long brown wig he'd had tucked away in his bag. He felt plain under the bare remnants of his earlier makeup, but Levi always told him that he looked good enough without a lot of it. “Besides, I only smoked pot this time, I'm off the other stuff...”

“Really? That _sure looked_ like pot in that bag and... you know what? I'm not even going to dignify this with a lecture.” He heard Eren sniffle and couldn't believe what he was hearing. “What, are you _crying_? Don't you dare cry on me. I'm not your fucking mother.”

“I'm sorry. I just hate this. All of this.” He shuffled closer to rest his head against Levi's shoulder, breathing in the clean scent of the white jacket he was wearing.

Levi quickly patted his head and then pushed him away. “Get off me, someone's coming by.”

A man stumbled out from one of the bars and headed in their direction near the bus stop. Levi preened his hair and straightened his tight skirt. He might have been shorter than average, but his legs looked long and enticing in those tall black boots.

“Hey babe, looking for a date?” Levi purred out as the man approached, swishing his hips as he walked alongside his potential customer. The man looked mildly interested, but brushed past to claim a seat at the dilapidated bus stop.

“Sorry, outta cash. Gotta save something for the bus.” Levi hovered around him and leaned over to whisper sugar sweet words into the man's ear.

“I'm much more fun than some dirty old bus. Let me prove it to you.”

“I'm sure you are, but I can't right now.”

“You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

Levi stormed away, scowling and dejected. He didn't know what he expected on a Monday night, but this was beyond bleak. At least the bars would be letting out soon, hopefully bringing more men willing to throw away some more money. Levi was really getting tired of sneaking in through the window and scraping for food.

“Where the hell is everyone? No one's looking tonight. Why aren't we closer to town?” Eren whined insistently.

“I saw cops earlier. Tons of them. I was further down the boulevard on The Walk and I saw them pull some girl out of a dumpster. Everyone's scared off for the night. We have to stay down here.”

Eren swallowed hard at that, eyes wide. How the fuck had he ended up in this life? Levi could read the question all over the young boy's face. He offered a rare, sympathetic look and asked himself the same question.

\- - - - -

Blocks away, a garish yellow sports car jostled to a stop where the streets grew dark and the luxurious stores changed to seedy bars and run down houses. The man in the car rolled down the window and called to a vagrant digging through cans outside one of the houses.

“Excuse me? Could you tell me how to get to Beverly Hills?”

The old man laughed and spread his arms out. “Can't you tell? You're fucking there!”

Displeased with his answer and wary of staying parked on that curb, the man shifted the car back into drive and continued down the road, jerkily swerving as he attempted yet again to figure out the gear changes. It wasn't his car and it wasn't his city and, overall, it just wasn't his day.

“Levi, look at that!” Eren smacked the other's arm and pointed at the ridiculous looking sports car approaching them. “Shit, it's slowing down.”

“If he's buying, that's fucking rent on wheels.”

The sleek but outlandish car pulled to a stop in front of them. Eren motioned for Levi to take this one as well. Clearly, the man had money and he didn't want to fuck up their chances only to be yelled at by Levi later.

Levi sauntered over to the car and leaned over the open window, flaunting his Isabelle act for all she's worth. Which he hoped was a fucking lot with this customer. He looked inside and was more than pleased with what he saw. The man was older than him, though most are, but he was put together in ways that the low-lifes stumbling from the bars every night couldn't hope to dream of being. His earnest blue eyes and perfectly neat hair were begging to be debauched and swindled out of a ton of money.

“ _Hey there._ You looking for a date? You look real nice and I can be real nice too, just for you. It's your lucky night.” He dared to wink at the end, leaning in far enough to catch a whiff of expensive cologne. The man laughed softly to himself. Levi's sultry expression faltered a bit. Who fucking laughed after an offer like that? He already hated himself for having to talk like that and then this fucker had the audacity to laugh? He might as well knife him just on basic principle. 

“No, not exactly looking for... something like that.”

“What, you don't like feisty blondes?” Levi moved out of the way and gestured to Eren, curiously watching from the lamp post nearby. “My friend there is a real cute brunette. Sweet as sugar.”

“Actually, I'm just looking for directions. Do you know how to get to Beverly Hills?”

“Beverly Hills,” He responded flatly, octave dropping to his normal pitch in an annoyed slip.

“Yes, do you know the way?”

“Twenty bucks.” The man tilted his head at the response, confused. Levi needed to make something that night and if this is how low he'd stoop, so be it.“Give me twenty bucks and I'll help.”

“You can't charge me for directions!”

“Honey, I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

Levi's harsh tone got his attention. He slipped into a curious smirk and pulled a crisp twenty dollar bill from his wallet, handing it over. It was snatched from his hand in the blink of an eye. Levi dared to push the transaction further, hoping that he might be able to bleed this yuppie for more cash. If he could fork over twenty for measly directions, maybe he could be persuaded into more.

“How about I do you one better and show you the way myself. Give me twenty more when we get there and we'll call it even.”

Levi flashed a smile so sweet, yet dripping of poisonous manipulation, that the man couldn't help but cave in. “Fine. Get in, then.”

He rolled the window back up and waited. Levi quickly darted over to Eren to let him know what was going on.

“I've got like $40 here I think, at least that, and he doesn't even want to screw. Gonna try to get more out of him, we'll see how it goes. You need to make sixty more, alright? Just in case I get ditched.”

“Sixty?! Come on!”

“Bars will be out soon. Just blow a few guys and then go home, we only need a hundred more for rent and we'll worry about everything else the rest of the week.”

“Fine.” Eren pouted and Levi flicked him hard on the cheek.

“Be nice to the scumbags and don't bite anyone's dick off, ok? I'll see you later.”

Levi felt the man's eyes on him as he passed in front of the car and tried not to stumble as he walked, intimidated for only a second by the man's blank expression. He was fine. More than fine. No need to be nervous at all as he opened that passenger seat door to slip in and speed away. Easiest forty dollars he'd ever made on that godforsaken street. He was inwardly scheming, hopefully wondering how much more cash he could rake out of this rich dope.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a side fic to this from eren's perspective. just a oneshot [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1378597).


	2. they aren't sluts like you

Levi hurried into the passenger seat and they were off. He flirted shamelessly to try and interest this man and commented on the car as he gave directions. Not that he really knew anything about cars of this caliber, but he was honestly impressed all the same. It was _nice_ , something so out of the norm that you didn't even see commercials for it on the few local stations he got on his TV. Levi lived in fucking Hollywood so that was saying something. The man clearly didn't know how to drive it, though.

“Haven't you ever driven one of these before?” Levi asked as they weaved down the street, teeth clenching as the car jerked again at Erwin's awful handling.

“I'm not used to driving in general. My normal car's a limo.”

“ _Fantastic_ ,” Levi muttered under his breath. “Watch out! _Fuck_.”

They pulled over to the side of the road for a moment and mutually caught their breath after narrowly avoiding an accident as they swerved through an intersection.

“I'm sorry. My plan wasn't to kill us with my awful driving."

“ _I'm_ going to kill you after this. You're fucking awful.” Screw flirting, this hell wasn't worth an extra $20.

“Fine! Do you want to drive this contraption?”

“Babe, I don't even have a license. I'm not used to _this_ type of ride.”

The man was at the end of his rope. He ran his hand through his perfect hair and groaned.“Look, it's taken me twice as long as it should have getting from the airport to my hotel because my associate insisted he set me up with this awful thing instead of just hiring a driver for the week. I just want to get to my hotel. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you just take over on this, will that make you happy? That's what you want, right?”

Levi tried not to show his elation at the turn of events. He almost felt bad for sending Eren off to seduce the drunks now, but he figured that boy needed to learn a lesson anyway. Extra money never hurt. Levi and the man switched seats after the money was handed over. Rule one: always get your money before doing _anything_ in this line of work.

He held back his anger when the man laughed at how far he needed to adjust the seat to reach the pedals.

“Shut up, uh, what's your fucking name, anyway?”

“Erwin. Erwin Smith.” The man paused as if that name was supposed to mean anything to Levi. “And you?”

“What do you want it to be?” He asked in a low, sultry voice. Erwin said nothing. Levi rolled his eyes. This man was made of stone.“It's Isabelle, happy?” He restarted the car and sped off down the street. They arrived a very short ride later at the hotel Erwin had told him. “I bet you're regretting that hundred now. That was what, less than a two minute drive from your little tantrum?”

“I won't miss it.” They got out of the car and Levi tapped his foot as Erwin approached him, remembering their previous deal. “What?”

“I believe you owe me another twenty.”

“I gave you an extra _hundred_. You can't be serious.”

“Deadly.” Levi was enjoying this more than he should. Regardless of how ridiculous he was being, Erwin handed over the money without further protest. Levi stood and watched as Erwin waited for the valet to show up. While he had more than enough for this pitiful little trip, he couldn't help but wonder if it was worth testing his luck. It wasn't often that an opportunity like this happened in his sorry, depressing neighborhood. Fancy yellow sports cars never stopped for directions to Beverly Hills. He'd done much worse things with much worse people for insanely lesser amounts of money. This was easy. Erwin wasn't awful to look at either. He could deal with his fucking dopey face for another hour or so.

“Can I help you? Do you want me to find a cab for you or can you handle that yourself?”

“Maybe I won't need a cab. I bet you're going to be awful lonely in this big hotel.” He revved up the sleaze factor and looked away slightly, rubbing his heavily reddened lips together to smooth out his lipstick and draw Erwin's eye. He tried to act nonchalant as he brushed fly-away hairs down on his wig.

Erwin fought an internal battle. He had absolutely no plans of picking someone up, he wasn't that sort of man. He took a big risk in letting this 'Isabelle' character into his car. Maybe tonight was a night of throwing away all his usual pretensions to do something totally out of character for once. There was something about that small figure standing next to him, trying so hard and so sure of themselves, that intrigued him.

Levi peered up through his falsely enhanced lashed and stared unwavering at Erwin. That was it, that was the look that cut him down and finally won. The older man sighed and went to get something from the back seat of the car, having lost the struggle with his better moral judgment.

“Put this on.” He draped a large black coat over Levi's shoulders. It certainly helped shield out the cold still prevalent in the night air. “We're going inside and you're a little... overdressed for this hotel?”

“Ah. Got it.” Levi shrugged into the large coat and was led over to the side as the valet arrived and unloaded the trunk. The man stared at Levi for a moment but went back to his work when Erwin pointedly cleared his throat.

“Now, we need to discuss some things,” Erwin said in a hushed voice.

“Like?”

“Payment? I'm assuming you want some compensation for tonight? Or was what I've given you enough to cover the bill?”

Levi cursed himself for looking stupid and blanking out after the comment, even so briefly. “Well, that depends. How long do you want me?”

“Isabelle, this isn't exactly the place that rents by the hour.” Erwin smirked and rose one annoyingly perfect eyebrow. Levi returned the expression and volleyed back.

“Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I've been here before. Besides, every place has hookers, even if they don't like to admit it.”

“ _Isabelle_.”

“ _Alright._ Five-hundred.” Way more than Levi ever charged for the night, but this man could definitely afford it.

“Two-hundred.”

“Three.”

“Deal.” Erwin had the audacity to stick his hand out to shake, as if this were an honest to goodness business transaction. Levi kept his stoic expression but was inwardly celebrating. _Three hundred dollars._ He had trouble making that on most slow weeks, and there had been more slow weeks than good ones lately. Add that to the money Erwin had already given him and he had more than enough for his expenses.

Erwin led Levi into the hotel with a hand to the small of his back, gently guiding him inside as a doorman opened the large glass lobby doors. Levi was impressed at the crystal clear glass, not a single greasy fingerprint in sight. He hid his awe as he took it all in, more than he would ever have experienced on a normal working night.

The lobby was a huge cavern of marble and light. Levi felt tiny in the place, especially next to a man like Erwin. He was told to wait in the lounge while Erwin checked in at the front desk. A few people were lingering by the bar in the lounge and Levi made himself at home across one of the low couches, uncaring that the overcoat spilled open to show off his raunchy apparel. He smirked as an elderly lady openly gasped and averted her husband's gaze from the display.

“Isabelle? Coming?” Erwin called and beckoned his 'date' over. Levi threw a wink back to the man continuing to steal glances from the bar.

“ _Coming_? That depends on how nice you treat me, blondie,” he joked back. Erwin didn't play along and quietly led him to the elevator. The overcoat was readjusted to hide Levi's garish outfit as they stepped into the elevator for an awkward ride to the top with the gawking young attendant. Let him stare. Levi clung to Erwin's arm and kept his head held high until they arrived at the top. The penthouse.

“You know, I live in the penthouse at my place,” Levi added as Erwin struggled with the card key.

“Is that so?” He grumbled, cursing his inability to open the door.

“Top floor. It's the truth...” Levi trailed off awkwardly as Erwin eventually pushed the door open. He almost fell forward as he was brought into the room, vertigo taking over as he stared down at the weird, sunken living room with pristine couches and potted plants. He'd never been to Vegas but he'd seen a few movies. It looked like something from there, almost gaudy in excess luxury with its wide windows showing off the distant lights of the city. He shuffled to the side like just another statue in the vicinity as the attendant from the elevator dropped off the luggage. Erwin left Levi standing by the doorway, still taking it all in, to empty his briefcase on the desk and close some of the blinds.

Erwin called for room service and asked them to bring up a bottle of champagne. “You're quiet now. Impressed? It's quite a nice view.”

“Nope. Just thinking about the last time I was here. You know, they _do_ rent this place by the hour. I was right,” Levi sneered cynically and twirled a strand of his wig.

Erwin smiled to himself and settled in at the desk, flipping open his files and thoroughly ignoring Levi altogether. Levi cleared his throat to get the other man's attention, only to be told that he can turn on the television if he wants to, as long as he keeps the volume low. He draped the borrowed overcoat across one of the couches before settling down on the steps of the sunken seating area. Erwin still hadn't looked at him since sitting at the desk so Levi made another noise to gain attention.

“Do you need anything? I have a lot to catch up on. Long flight. And drive. You can order anything you want from room service.”

Levi glared and made a hand motion that a man like Erwin should immediately understand. He wanted his money before he was going to apparently be ignored for the rest of the night. Perfectly fine with him if this man didn't even want a quick fuck but Levi wouldn't waste his time in this unfamiliar place for free.

“Oh, sorry. I should have known. You want your payment.” Erwin dug through his seemingly bottomless wallet and handed over three more hundred dollar bills. Levi gingerly took them and stuffed them into a secret part of his bag with the rest of the money from the night. He relished the feel of flat, clean money as opposed to the crumpled and torn bills hastily handed over in alleyways. This man was a fucking goldmine.

Room service arrived with a chime of the door and Levi lept up from the carpeted stairs. He was eager to do something, to move around. He opened the door before Erwin could protest the potential train wreck of Levi greeting the server with all his flashy glory, shameless in causing a scene. Anything to ruffle Erwin from his silent work at the desk. The server gaped like a trout as he wheeled the cart into the room, stumbling a little as Levi stared him down, not used to this type of guest at the ritzy hotel.

“Uh, where do you want this... ma'am?” Levi just pointed at a spot near where he'd been previously sitting. Erwin called him over and handed him some money to tip the server.

“More for me?” He batted his lashes and Erwin lightly pushed him away, amused but more exasperated than anything. Levi handed the money over with disinterest and took his place next to the tray. “Bye!” he called to the poor server as they rushed to wheel the cart out of the room.

The two fell into another silence as Erwin scribbled away at some papers while Levi fussed with smudges on his boots. He then recounted his money for the third, fourth, fifth time. He couldn't help the compulsive paranoia and attachment he had to rechecking, not used to or completely comfortable with having so much in his immediate possession. He eventually caved in and flipped on the television, circling thorough the various news programs. He briefly heard a local newscaster talk about that girl they found downtown, causing him to immediately switch to some mindless antiquing show.

He didn't need to listen to that other stuff. That girl was someone he knew.

Levi lost himself in the show, caught up in how utterly hilarious it was that people squabble over such ridiculous heirlooms and other junk they found in flea markets and old storage sheds. He caught himself laughing as the people argued with each other, glancing back at Erwin once he realized his lapse in composure. The man had since stopped working and was staring down at Levi with intrigue. Levi's expression reverted to stoicism yet again.

Fuck this whole situation for making him let his guard down in front of a total stranger. He carefully slipped his boots off; he might as well get comfortable if he was essentially trapped for the night. The boots were gently placed on the steps where Levi could carefully keep an eye on them. They housed his means of defending himself, after all.

Erwin joined him in the living room area and crashed down heavily into the plush couch, completely exhausted from the day. Levi crawled over, bringing the partially consumed champagne bottle with him. He settled in between Erwin's long legs and leaned back, feeling a little tipsy from the bubbly liquid. He was enjoying being spoiled a little, even if this man was completely confusing. It was starting to piss him off, if he was being honest with himself.

“You want any of this?” Levi tapped the bottle against Erwin's thigh. He'd been drinking straight from the bottle, ignoring the delicate looking glasses that sat upturned on the silver tray.

“Go ahead and enjoy it. I don't really drink.”

Levi spun around and draped himself across the man's lap, trailing nimble fingers down the stiff dress pants. “You don't drink? The fuck is wrong with you. Look, if you thought you needed to get me trashed before we fuck, it's pointless. Because I'm a sure thing, honey.

“What's your real name?” Erwin blurted out, hand coming to gently stroke at the now lopsided wig.

Levi paused, but gave his real name. He was angry that he did, he never does, but this man had such a commanding, convincing voice that compelled him to answer. That worried him a little.

“Nice to meet you, Levi.” He pulled Levi's wig fully off and tossed it aside, revealing messy black hair that fell delicately across his face. Levi looked away. He hated how disheveled he looked after taking away his disguise. It made everything too real, too personal.

The two men exchanged a heated stare before Erwin tipped the other's chin up and leaned down a little, halting when he felt the man at his knees tense slightly. He rubbed a thumb over the red stained lips until his finger was covered with the pigment, smiling down at Levi with pupils blown wide with new desire. “That's much better. You don't need to hide here.”

Levi backed away from Erwin's touch, self conscious but unwilling to let it show. He needed a moment if Erwin was going to play it that way. “Hold on. I'm going to the bathroom.”

He grabbed his bag and strode fast into the bathroom, stocking clad feet skidding across the tile. He closed the door but carelessly left it ajar in his rush. Levi usually didn't kiss his customers, but Erwin definitely just tried to do exactly that. It was dirty and gross, especially after most of them spent half the night drinking themselves stupid at a bar, stale and sour and thoroughly unpleasant. But, he could tell that this man wasn't going to let this night continue without taking things slow. They had all night after all, and Erwin certainly seemed to be interested in unneeded romantic gestures. It was all so nauseating.

Levi wasn't a completely vain person, but he had his ways. The smudged makeup needed to go, imperfection on display too clearly under the bright lights of this flashy penthouse. He fished around in his bag and found what he was looking for, feeling calm wash over him when he confirmed that he hadn't forgotten the dental floss at home. It was a small vice, but far from the vices of many he knew. He simply enjoyed a level of cleanliness when he could, something not always available.

Erwin knocked at the door but entered without waiting for an answer. Levi hid the floss behind his back. He wasn't ashamed of his borderline obsessive regiment to hygiene, Erwin's intrusion just caught him off guard. He instinctively went to reach for his boot but cursed under his breath when he realized that the hidden knife was far away in the living room. Great, this man more than twice his size had him cornered in this bathroom. Maybe he could turn the floss into a garrote or something just in case.

“What are you hiding there?” Erwin asked suspiciously.

“Nothing. Can't I use the bathroom in peace? I promise we'll get to it soon.”

“Levi. I need to see what you're hiding.” He moved forward and Levi straightened his stance to appear as big as he could.

“I'm not hiding anything.” He could kill him right now, he really could. He wouldn't even blink.

“You can leave if you're going to be difficult. Keep my money but you won't be doing drugs in here.”

“What? Oh, fuck.” Levi drew back his defenses and thrust the little thing of floss into Erwin's hands. “I don't fucking do drugs.”

Erwin stared at the floss and then back to Levi's unwavering face, rigid with anger and a touch of disappointment. He handed it back and stiffly backed out of the room, muttering apologies all the while. Levi finished up quickly and stuffed the stupid floss back into his bag. He stopped a moment and recounted his money one last time before going back into the other room. Erwin was waiting.

The intense look in the man's eyes had returned from earlier, the incident in the bathroom completely behind them as Levi slid up against Erwin. He ran gentle hands ran up the man's strong arms as Erwin mouthed feather light at his forehead, all he could reach with their massive height difference. Levi wasn't interested in standing there any longer and began quickly working at Erwin's pants.

“Woah, slow down. There's no rush,” Erwin protested as Levi ripped the belt out and tossed it somewhere to the side. He fumbled over the zipper with embarrassingly shaky hands. Erwin stilled him and brushed his hands aside, trying to soothe him with meaningless nonsense.

That was it. Levi wasn't about to be babied by this man, flaunting his money like it was nothing and scolding him in the bathroom like a child. Who the hell did he think he was? Levi wasn't some charity case, begging for a meal and a place to sleep for the night. He was hired for a reason. And he was going to fucking do it right.

“Fine. We'll do it your way. You want romance? You'll fucking get romance.”

“Eloquent.”

“Shut the fuck up, rich boy.” Levi yanked on Erwin's infuriating silk tie and surged forward, crashing their lips together. Erwin groaned into the kiss and brought his hands up to clutch fistfuls of inky black hair. He pressed against him soft, lingering, savoring the way the smaller man suddenly became so calm and pliant against his lips. Erwin made this unseemly little noise when Levi gently nipped at his bottom lip and that's it, they're moving this to a more horizontal location. Levi pushed Erwin away abruptly and ran off to where he assumed the bedroom was. He cast a glance back to where the other remained panting for breath with that infuriating dopey smile.

The bedroom kept in theme with the rest of the penthouse suite. Golds and soft greens tastefully decorated the room like some sort of strange throne room. Levi took full advantage of the enormous bed by jumping onto it and settling back against the pillows. He worked off his skirt and dropped it to the floor along with his bag, keeping it within reach for later. He stretched his legs out and waved lazily as Erwin entered the room, greeted with lace and stockings fully on display, so delicate but so obscene. By his expression, it was clearly appreciated. Erwin loosened his tie and joined Levi on the bed, crawling up with as much dignity as a man in his forties could manage as he stumbled on his knees across silk sheets.

“Careful, big boy. Don't hurt yourself.”

Erwin slid a hand delicately up the sheer fabric covering Levi's leg. He held onto the hem of Levi's flimsy white shirt as he swooped down for a quick kiss. It wasn't graceful. It had been a long time since either man had indulged in a proper kiss and the opposing forces of romance and sleaze were not meshing so well. Erwin was all soft lips and gentle flicks of tongue, too calm and quiet against the other's clash of teeth and exaggerated noises.

“I don't want to rush this. We don't need to rush this, ok?” Erwin whispered. Levi held back his comment on just wanting to get it over with. Erwin was a paying client and Levi would deliver what was promised.

“Tell me what you want.” Levi scratched through the short hair at the base of the other's neck and kissed softly at his cheek, trying his hardest to mimic sweetness and caring.

Erwin didn't answer, moving on to fumble with his shirt buttons. Levi insisted that he take care of that. He pushed Erwin onto his back and straddled the man, slipping the crisp dress shirt off with practiced ease. He managed to get his pants off as well, folding them and placing them on top of his discarded skirt. Erwin groaned at the first pass of a hand at his crotch, bucking upwards as those small fingers rubbed at him. He mouthed at Levi's neck, biting down hungrily. Levi cringed at the feeling and hoped that there wouldn't be a mark left on his pale skin. He hated when they left marks.

The assault to his neck finally stopped and Erwin kissed him over and over again, soft and drawn out. Erwin seemed to be obsessed with stroking Levi's hair and the smaller man hated to admit that it felt pretty nice. As nice as it felt, he was growing anxious as Erwin pulled back to simply give him a soft smile.

“What's that look for?” Erwin asked.

“I could ask you the same thing, creep. You are aware that the saying goes, 'looking is free but touching will cost you.' I already have your fucking money.”

“You can't even let me pretend to seduce you?” His wandering hands played at the lacy tops of Levi's stockings, fingers slipping under absently to skim the smooth skin underneath.

“You cruised the wrong boulevard if you were looking for romance, that's all I'm saying. I'm not some valley girl or bitchy twink you picked up at the club.” Erwin kissed him again to shut him up, smiling when Levi groaned in annoyance again.

“Fine, have it your way.” Erwin grabbed Levi's wrists and pined them above his head. Erwin breathed out hot against Levi's ear, delighting in the shudder he caused the man looking up at him with wide eyes. “But I'm in charge here.”

Before he could react further, Levi was flipped over onto his stomach. He craned his neck to look back, biting back a whimper as Erwin kissed and bit at his nape. He trailed a slow path down Levi's slender back, teeth gently scraping at vertebrae as he arched upwards at the feeling. Levi could feel Erwin's cock hard against his ass, so he ground back and elicited a pleased sound from the man above him. Erwin rubbed against him until he couldn't stand the teasing friction anymore. He ran his hands down Levi's sides before roughly yanking off the black lace panties. He kept the sheer stockings on.

“Do you have any-”

“Yeah. Hold on.” Levi raided his bag on the floor and handed over a small bottle of lube. “Don't take it as a compliment but I'm guessing you'll need the larger condoms. I have a fucking green one of those if you want a laugh and _oh fuck_ -”

He gasped at the sudden feeling of cool slickness against his hole and a finger much larger than his own sliding abruptly in. Erwin hummed in appreciation as Levi panted beneath him, hips in the air and face pressed into the pillow in hopes of muffling any embarrassing sounds. He moved in and out and added more fingers when Levi quieted down again, used to the stretch. He was worried at first about how small Levi was in comparison to him, but he seemed almost unaffected by the time he completely thrust in for the first time. He was unbelievably tight, but made no complaints as Erwin gripped his hips hard and thrust fast.

Levi moaned deep in his throat as Erwin hit that spot inside him over and over again. He only became even louder when Erwin released one hand from his hip to stroke his cock, something people rarely reciprocated for him. Levi let go of his reservations and rocked back with each thrust, meeting Erwin halfway as he tried to maintain their frenzied rhythm. Erwin completely enveloped Levi at this point, tall enough to comfortably keep pace as he sucked hard at Levi's shoulder, sure to leave an impressive mark despite the other's hopes. He was too far gone at this point to care.

“Turn over,” Erwin roughly demanded as he pulled out. Levi's legs were shaky at this point from the strain on his knees and thighs so he was slow to respond. Erwin couldn't wait. He spun the other around so that they were chest to chest, kissing him hard as he lifted thin legs over his shoulders to pound back into that tight heat once more. This was definitely something new. Levi turned his face to look to the side, but Erwin held his jaw back in place to stay locked on him, eyes piercing dark. He was now so unlike that composed businessman from the car.

“Come on, let me hear you,” Erwin demanded, voice deep and absolutely wrecked. Levi let go of the moans he was holding back, obediently complying. The other man seemed to enjoy that, which only spurred him on further, grunting out half thoughts and what may have been attempts at words.

The champagne from earlier certainly didn't help with how much Levi's head was spinning. It was dizzying, the whole thing, so blindingly bright in the suite. Levi momentarily felt like he was somewhere else, looking in on the scene, but was brought back down as one of those large hand took hold of his cock once more. He briefly focused on the concentrated face of Erwin to balance himself, handsome even with scrunched eyes and a furrowed brow, face damp with beads of sweat. He was faltering in pace and rhythm finally. Levi felt waves of pleasure wash over him as Erwin quickly pumped him in time with his thrusts to send him over the edge.

Erwin followed soon after, quietly compared to how loud he'd been the entire time, with a face that made it seem like the man was having some sort of religious experience. He slowly pulled out and rolled to the side, completely out of breath. He carefully dropped the ridiculous looking green condom into a trash can next to the bed with a laugh, then sprawled out in exhaustion. Levi remained still on his back, limbs tired and shaky. His hips throbbed from the earlier force that Erwin had gripped him with, but he kind of liked the feeling. It mixed well with the lingering tipsiness from that damned alcohol, ever a lightweight from the stuff.

Levi ran a hand down his stomach and grimaced at the cum cooling there. Disgusting. Apart from the fact that his usual customers were revolting excuses for humanity, he rarely came on the job. It was so needlessly messy. He made to get up to find something to wipe the stuff off but his legs weren't cooperating. Erwin clasped his wrist and pulled him closer.

“Oh, hell no. Are you trying to cuddle or some shit, old man?” Levi's voice was thick and raspy. Erwin's was no better.

“Maybe. Can't you humor this _old man_?” He managed to move himself closer since Levi wasn't budging. “Besides, I just gave you one hell of a ride. Won't hurt to just lay here a while.”

“Oh, fuck you. Supposed to be my job anyway.”

“I'm not complaining.” He pressed lazy kisses against Levi's neck, gentle across where reddening bruises were forming. “Sorry if I got a little carried away.”

He didn't let it show, but Erwin was kind of embarrassed. It really had been a very long time since he'd done any of this. He desperately hoped he hadn't made a fool of himself.

Levi eventually regained enough energy in his legs to wrench away and stand from the bed. He peeled his stockings off and laid them with the rest of their garments, frowning in embarrassment for the guy in seeing that Erwin had kept his damn socks on the entire time they were fucking. Was he kidding? God, what a giant moron.

So much for not making a fool of himself.

Suddenly, Levi found himself scooped up into a pair of strong arms. He flailed and protested the action, absolutely mortified as Erwin carried him out of the bedroom and into the bathroom only to be placed down on the cold marble floor, flinching away like an offended cat. Well. _Maybe this wasn't the worst thing_ , he thought as he sat on the edge of the huge, in-ground bath that Erwin was turning on to fill.

He could have fucking walked there on his own, though.

Erwin called for him to join him in the bath, letting the hot water wash over them both as it filled up. It was incredibly soothing on their worn out muscles. Levi allowed those strong arms to wrap around his chest as Erwin settled against him. The hot water was incredibly relaxing and he lost all motivation to fight the contact.

“To be honest, I haven't done this in years,” Erwin muttered into Levi's messy hair.

“Taken a bath? You're absolutely revolting.”

He kissed under Levi's ear with such gentle fondness so that it sent a tingle across the other man's neck. “Smartass. You know what I mean.”

“Oh, of course. Picked up a hooker?”

“Sex.”

“What,” Levi deadpanned.

“Sex in general. I'm serious.”

“But you're fucking gorgeous. You can have anyone you want.” He honestly meant it. There was no use in ignoring that he got lucky with his choice of client. He could have gotten a depraved, wrinkly old politician but Erwin Smith was seemingly respectable so far and a nice change of scenery.

“Hmm. I'm awfully busy. I never have time to meet people. Or... this sort of thing.”

“For years though? Look, I fuck for a living and _even then_ sometimes I need to just find someone for myself and get away from work. _Shit._ And here I thought I was amazing in bed or something, the way you looked when you came. Your o-face was obscene.”

“So vulgar, little Levi.”

“One, don't call me little anything. And two, what part of ' _I fuck for a living_ ' do you not get? My _existence_ is vulgar.”

Erwin laughed that subtle and soft laugh of his and tightened his grip to pull Levi that tiny bit closer. He ran a hand down the other's slender arm and hummed in sated contentment. The water eventually grew cool and they drained the tub while drying off. Levi insisted that he walk back to the bedroom on his own this time. He jumped back onto the bed, exhausted but refreshed. Levi had no idea what time it was but that didn't matter. He was working all night.

The lights were shut off finally, light dimly filtering in from the living room area with its wide windows and moonlight. The bed dipped as Erwin climbed on. Levi fought off his sleepy eyes and straddled the man next to him. Erwin rubbed his large hands up Levi's smooth thighs, still warm from the bath, but did nothing further. He maneuvered Levi next to him and simply spooned him from behind.

“Sssh. Let's just go to sleep,” He whispered into the dark room.

“You don't want to go again in a little while? I can handle it if that's what you're worried about.”

“I just want to fall asleep next to somebody. This is nice.”

“Your money, my gain. I guess I'll just blow you in the morning or something since I like you, don't worry about it.”

Whatever Erwin said next was lost as he mumbled into Levi's hair, holding the smaller man against his chest. Levi tried to relax and position himself comfortably, not particularly fond of sleeping with the other man's naked junk nestled against his back. He moved around and debated where his other arm was supposed to go. Surely it would go numb whether he turned to face Erwin or not. Whatever.

He listened to the rumbling, soft sounds of Erwin drifting to sleep, unused to the rise and fall of another's chest against his back. He could feel their still damp skin sticking to each other but he didn't care about the weirdness of something like that for once. He released the breath he was holding and melted into the soft mattress, finally succumbing to the night as well.

\- - - - - 

Levi was alone in the huge bed when he woke up the next morning. He turned to the side where Erwin had slept during the night and found a curious, handwritten note sitting innocently on the comforter.

_**Meet me in the dining room for breakfast. I laid out some clothes and a robe for you. Please don't run away, I have a proposition. ~E. Smith** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm notorious for making playlists for all my dumb fics and this is [no exception](http://8tracks.com/theghostbusters/3000).  
> the titles for the chapters are all coming from 'celebrity skin' by hole. it's on the mix. 
> 
> [main tumblr](http://theghostbusters.tumblr.com/) & [snk only](http://aarlertarmin.tumblr.com/).


	3. beautiful garbage, beautiful dresses

Levi stared at the neatly written note for a while, contemplating actually doing just what the message asked him not to. He put on the lounge pants that had been laid out and wandered around the penthouse, fuming. They were a little big. Shocker. Erwin was indeed no where to be found.

After a quick and desperate search through the room, he didn't find a wallet or anything of real value to pocket. There were stacks of papers and a locked briefcase spread out on that desk by the living room, but those items were useless to Levi, despite all the sensitive and important business information they contained. Levi had no way of knowing that, of course. He checked his boots and found that his knife was still hidden there, even though he didn't really need it at the moment. Curiosity caught the better of him and he threw on the silky robe, ignoring the slippers and shirt laid out for him.

The air outside was warm as it breezed in from the balcony, quite a turn around from the previous chilly night.

He rode the elevator to the ground floor where he assumed the dining room would be, casually lighting up a cigarette as he traipsed around. Early morning guests openly stared at him as he wandered the lobby shoeless in the open robe, exposing his bare chest. An attendant rushed over to him in alarm, obviously trying not to come off as rude while internally freaking out over Levi's utter disregard for decency.

“Where's Erwin Smith?” he asked around the cigarette, rudely puffing a cloud of smoke out as the attendant scowled.

The attendant led him to where Erwin was located, in a smaller room inside the dining area. Levi coldly thanked the man and took a seat across from Erwin, attention newly captivated by the spread laid out at their table. He was a lot hungrier than he thought he was when he'd been in the suite reading that note, which he then flicked across the table to Erwin.

He exhaled a final breath of smoke and then stubbed his cigarette out on the table cloth. “Explain.”

Erwin chose to ignore the burn mark on the stark white cloth.“How are you this morning? Are you alright?”

“What? Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?” he said as he began to carefully gather food onto his plate.

Levi sat straight in his seat, cutting up his food with the utmost care and precision. He wanted to savor this meal, excited though his expression gave nothing away, as always. Honestly, he was just glad to have a break from cheap tea and instant oatmeal for a day. His eyes closed out of their own accord when he carefully sipped at his tea. Beautiful. This tea really was the good shit. Erwin studied his antics, curious, the corners of his lips twitching with the threat of a smile.

Levi was growing impatient and didn't like the feel of those piercing eyes watching him cut up his toast. “The note? Hello?”

“Do you like it here?”

“The hotel? It's nice, I guess. If you're into extravagant bullshit,” He could practically feel the tension; he wasn't stupid. The various scenarios of whatever Erwin was planning were spinning through his mind and he didn't exactly like the idea of any of them. Geez, this guy was dramatic, still watching his every tiny movement with such interest. Levi slammed his knife to the table and gave up. “Ok, blondie, what do you want from me? Stop stalling. I have places to be today.”

“Myself as well, but that actually was what I wanted to talk to you about.” Levi returned the calculating gaze. “See, I'm going to be in town until Sunday-”

“You want my number? Thought so. Well, hate to break it to you but I'm not home very often so you're just going to have to go cruising again, take the same chance as every other scumbag in this town,” Levi enjoyed the annoyed look on Erwin's face. “And I charge extra on weekends.”

“You're impossible.” Levi shrugged and returned to his toast. “Regardless, I was hoping that you'd stay _with_ me for the week.”

Now that caught Levi's attention. It was a suggestion he'd anticipated in the far reaches of his mind, sincerely hoping that this man wasn't that desperate and depraved to suggest it. And there he went catching Levi off guard yet again.

“You're fucking kidding.”

“Nope. These trips get lonely and I suppose good luck had me meet you last night.”

Levi winced at the sentiment. “Why don't you just hire one of those stupid call girls to lay around here and look pretty?”

“Because I don't like those stupid call girls. Not my _type_.” Groan. Levi wanted to lean over and smack that shit eating grin from the other man's face. He huffed and crossed his arms, appetite vanished while Erwin had hunger in his eyes.

“Am I supposed to be flattered by all this?”

“Maybe. Frankly, I don't care. I find you interesting. Attractive. It would be nice to have some company this week. My PR girl usually accompanies me to these formal events and dinners but she had a commitment this week, couldn't travel. Then I met you. If I have to pay for someone to go to these things, so be it. I'd be paying her anyway.”

“Do you fuck her, though?” Levi darkly whispered, leaning across the table, far too close to the other. Erwin imitated the movement, leaving only a breath between them.

“No. This'll just be an added bonus.”

“If I agree.”

“Oh, I think you will.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I know you need the money. You're as desperate for it as I am for what I've asked.”

Levi flinched back in his seat. It was beneath him to be offended but damn if this asshole wasn't pressing all his buttons. He knew. He knew exactly how to throw his money right in Levi's face and watch him scramble to scrape up the change. _Fuck._ He sat fuming as Erwin excused himself after a staff member informed him that he had a phone call.

He could run, run far away from the perverted man and all his assumptions about who Levi was. He could do it. But he'd be running from the possibility of an obscene amount of cash.

“So. Where were we?” Erwin asked upon returning, back to business as soon as he sat down.

“Discussing your perverted plans for me.”

“Levi, was last night so bad? I thought it went well. Very well.” His expression was too open, too earnest underneath the calm confidence. It made Levi shudder.

“You paid a hooker to have sex with you. In _what_ universe could that have gone _well_.”

Levi was tired of this guy's insistence on mixing sentiment with what should be a emotionless discussion. The sex wasn't what bothered Levi. If it had to be done, so be it. But the hopeful, 'more than it was' insinuation? Ugh. He could do without that. What a fucking sap.

“Anyway. Let's say you agree. How much did you make last night? More than you're used to, right?” Levi didn't dignify that with an answer. He didn't need to restate what this man already knew. “What if I offered you that much every night.”

That cheery smile was nauseating, not sitting right on the man's face. But, Levi knew he could get more from this deal- if he agreed. “Hold on. So you want me at your beck and call all fucking week? I do have a day job.”

Erwin seemed genuinely surprised at the revelation. “Really?”

“Reeeeally,” Levi mocked. “Do you think I just fuck all night and sleep all day? Not that simple, asshole. I have a shitty waiter gig a few days a week.”

“That can't pay well.”

Time to up the ante. This guy was weak. He wanted this so bad, if his persistence was anything to go by. Levi slid out of his chair and gingerly sat down on the arm of Erwin's chair. He let his breath trail out against Erwin's ear, arm dangling across his broad shoulders. He leaned against the man's shoulder and felt the slight tremor that ran down his spine. Bingo.

“No. It doesn't pay well. But you can.”

“Are we... are we doing this?” Erwin sounded unsure for the first time that morning and Levi loved it. Levi stroked blunt nails down the man's perfectly coiffed hair, humming in agreement. Oh, he loved having all the power. He didn't even mind that he'd left his knife in the suite upstairs- this was his most useful weapon. He wanted to bleed Erwin for all that he could.

“So. How much do you want? Apparently an offer of $300 a night is too low for you?”

“You got that right. That equals, what-”

“$1500.”

“I was about to say that, I can do basic fucking math. I'm not stupid. But yeah. Too low.” He leaned over further, lips brushing Erwin's cheek as he slid fully into the man's lap. He needed to use everything in his arsenal if he wanted to be sure that he wasn't wasting his time here. Levi squirmed in Erwin's lap, legs bracing tightly on either side of those large thighs. “Far too low. Let's double it.”

“$3000? That's your weekly rate? It's pretty stiff.”

“Not yet but there's potential,” Levi whispered through a smirk as he ran a hand lower, teasing at the buckle of Erwin's belt. The other man groaned and made to lean forward and steal a kiss, but Levi backed away, smirking to himself. “Not so fast.”

He was pried away with a laugh and set to stand on the cold marble tile of the dining room. Looked like Erwin had more control than Levi thought. Good. He wasn't quite ready to stoop to that level this early in the morning. This week was going to be awful.

With tie back in place and a firm hand run quickly through his hair to flatten it, Erwin looked the perfect picture of a businessman again. He reached to shake hands with Levi, straining a smile as their hands parted.

“We have a deal, Levi.”

“So that's it,” Levi said. “$3000 for the pleasure of my company for the week.”

Easiest fucking money he ever made.

\- - - - -

Three thousand dollars! Three thousand fucking dollars.

That was so much money. Enough to be set with rent at that shit hole apartment for at least a few months. Maybe he could take the time to search for a better job than that awful waiter gig. Not walk at night so much and get a full night's sleep instead. He was lost in thought as he and Erwin finished their breakfast in silence. Erwin suddenly rose to say goodbye, but not first without handing Levi a sleek, black credit card.

Apparently Levi was in need of some nice clothes. Great. More money at his disposal. He was to find a nice suit or two and some casual clothing. Specifically, nothing made of leather, no stilettos. It wasn't as if Levi particularly enjoyed his 'on the job' clothes, as good as he knew he looked in them. It was all part of his act, his way to hide. Once the week was over he figured he could just return or sell the expensive suits somewhere and pocket a little more cash. Anything to sweeten the deal was fine with him.

What the fuck was he supposed to wear now, though, on his trip out to the shops to buy something 'professional and conservative,' as Erwin outlined. He was very specific about that. Levi snooped around the penthouse and rifled through Erwin's suitcases. Yeah, right. Like anything that giant of a man owned would fit Levi.

Levi sat in his flimsy white shirt from the night before and nothing else. Fantastic. No luck. Well, those pajamas from breakfast weren't too baggy, normal enough even if inappropriate for going out. He decided to slip those on and tied the sash from the bathrobe around his waist to keep them from slipping off. He didn't have any shoes so his leather boots would have to suffice. At least the pants were long enough to cover them completely. Shoes would have to be his first purchase.

The reflection in the mirror made him cringe. He looked like someone who escaped some sort of institution, white shirt and white pants standing out against his dark hair and bright impromptu belt. Who was he kidding? He wore fishnets and lipstick most nights. Whatever.

He'd lived in Hollywood and the surrounding suburbs since he was sixteen years old. For all the time he'd spent in the area, places like Rodeo Drive were still fresh and foreign to him, for the most part. He never had a good reason to visit those parts of town. The day was sunny and warm, normal for the late spring. The leather of his tall boots rubbed uncomfortably against his legs as the long pajamas trailed on the ground. He stumbled on them a few times, feeling regrettably even more foolish, especially when he normally had no problem walking in heels with the utmost grace.

Fuck Erwin for giving him this task with nothing to wear out. He had his dignity to consider.

A group of shopkeepers with perpetually upturned faces were completely ignored as Levi made a mad dash to the shoe section near the back of the first shop he entered. Fuck them. Fuck them and their scowls as he slapped the credit card on the counter and soon rushed outside with his new box. And fuck the ugly brown boat shoes he purchased! They cost him what he'd normally spend on two weeks worth of groceries. He wished that he could run back to his part of town and just go to his normally frequented thrift shops, but that wouldn't fly with pompous Erwin. He didn't want to risk their deal so he put the old man styled shoes on and dealt with the guilty price on their receipt.

“Hey. I need something to match these shoes I just bought,” Levi casually commented as he browsed through a rack in another shop, glancing at the lady blatantly staring at him and the boots he had draped over an arm.

“I'm not sure if we have anything...” she hesitantly said, trying not to linger too closely. She knew. She could almost smell the lie on Levi, how out of place he was in that boutique. It wasn't as if he was trying to hide it.

“Oh, the shoes on my feet, by the way. Not the boots.” He held a random dress shirt up to his chest and grimaced before shoving it back into the rack. He mumbled under his breath, “What is it with rich people and ugly clothes?”

The attendant cleared her throat and continued staring warily at Levi, her foot tapping in impatience.

“Look. I _said_ I don't think we have anything here for you.”

Levi was puzzled. “Is it because I'm small? Rude. I'm sure _something_ in this pretentious as fuck store will fit me. I'm not a child.”

“Oh my god, you know why! Just leave!” Another girl with caked on bronzer and a stiff blonde hairdo snapped at him, huffing as his face fell.

Oh. He understood. The hangers he was holding were dropped to the floor and he kicked them under the rack, just to be a nuisance. He hated to leave a mess, but those women deserved to clean up after him. He strode over to the lady who first spoke to him and pointed a still red-nailed finger in her face.

“You're going to regret this,” he threatened.

\- - - - -

It was over. It was all over. He stormed back to the hotel and sulked in the suite alone, absently flipping through daytime television with angered disinterest. Erwin was going to have to either let him go to the shitty, cheap shopping mall he frequented or forget their deal entirely to the disappointment of them both. Forget about the prospect of his week long captive adventure.

“Levi? You're back already. How did shopping go?”

Erwin strolled into the penthouse around lunchtime and fondly smiled at the smaller man curled up on the couch, still wearing the pajama pants he'd given him. He knew it was part of his possessive streak, but he enjoyed the sight of Levi in his clothing, even if they were only an old pair of pajamas that had unknowingly shrunk in the wash.

“It didn't go. Some asshole clerks pissed me off so I came back. And that elevator boy almost didn't let me back up here. You rick people are snobbier than I thought.”

“The shops gave you trouble?” Erwin sat down on the couch next to Levi, who promptly scooted away from the other man out of instinct before remembering that he had to be nice to the man. Lame. He moved back over and defeatedly leaned into Erwin's side.

“They were just assholes and it wasn't worth the trouble. Did get these ugly as sin shoes, though. Bet you just _love_ them, old man.” He kicked his feet out in the air to show them off to Erwin, playing off his disappointment of the morning. He didn't need the guy to know that he was actually offended or too aware of his emotions. Stay distant, stay aloof. He did kind of want to spend more of this oaf's money though and forgot about asking how he felt about letting him go to a familiar mall.

Levi hopped off the couch and grabbed Erwin's wrist to drag him across the room. He had a plan on how to shop carefree and figured that Erwin would appreciate being included in it.

“Where are you taking me?” Erwin knew they were headed for the elevator, but briefly entertained the hope that Levi had the bedroom on his mind. Ha. Not fucking likely.

“Do you have a while for lunch?”

“Sure. I only have one more meeting in a few hours. I was going to review my presentation notes but if you want to go out for lunch...”

“We're going out to buy those fancy clothes you're so obsessed with.”

They walked in comfortable silence back down to Rodeo. Erwin shed his jacket in the midday California heat as he lead the way through the buildings lining the road, trying so hard to resemble a European city. Levi rolled his eyes at the excess of it all. He wasn't impressed. Of course not. Not even as Erwin held the door open for him as they entered a shop that definitely was overdoing the gold-leaf motif on its light fixtures.

He wasn't gaping in awe. That was a yawn. Definitely.

“Fancy enough? This is Sina Suits. I often buy from them back home.”

“You want me to look like a mini-you, don't you? Kinda twisted. I bet you're a lot kinkier than I thought.”

“Ssshh. Behave.” He nudged Levi forward gently. “Come on. You asked for my help.”

The man behind the counter lit up at the sight of new customers in his previously empty store. Erwin Smith held that distinct air about him that screamed MONEY. And this guy was prepared to sell, sell sell. He ran up to the duo and plastered on his smarmiest smile, horse teeth glaring white. Levi frowned and stepped back, distancing himself from this retail shark.

“Soooo. What can I do for you gentlemen?” The man asked, drawing out his vowels like he was stuck on them. Levi's eyes widened in mortification at the mere fact that this man existed and focused on a spot of carpet a few feet behind him.

“Well, my partner here had a little bit of a predicament. The airport lost his luggage.”

“Poor thing!” He clapped his hands together and leaned forward with that toothy smile, causing Levi to flinch away from the wild animal. Erwin's gentle palm against his back calmed him, steadying the urge to bolt from the store altogether. Or punch the man in the face and then run. The urge was strong.

“So. We'll be needing a few nice suits.”

The two girls lurking in the back were called up to help get Levi's measurements and tossed article after article of clothing over the door of the fitting room, completely fussing over him. It was all absolutely ridiculous. Levi was actually sort of enjoying himself.

The reflection staring back at him was so different than the one in the hotel mirror only hours before. He was flushed from pulling clothing on and off, but he was excited. He looked good, different, as he stood in the stall of that luxurious little boutique. He plucked at the soft suit sleeves and thought of the night before, before Erwin had parked in front of him by chance. What if Eren had gone with him instead? Would he have been standing in this booth, balking at a price tag that made the floor feel like it fell out from under him? Holy shit. Dreams weren't something he cared for, but Levi pinched his arm anyway. Yeah. Wide awake.

“Take a look at you,” Erwin drawled as Levi peered out slowly from behind the fitting room door. He walked over, running his hands over the sharp lines of the seams of the jacket, ink black like Levi's hair. It suited the smaller man well.

“A tramp like me cleans up well, yeah?”

Erwin placed a quieting finger against his lips. Oh. So he was embarrassed about that. Trying to keep it quiet. Levi could play along. The other man _was_ prepared to drop a lot of money on some overpriced scraps of fabric in his name. He could definitely play along this time.

“Let's pick out some ties.” They browsed the selection together with Levi mainly disagreeing with each design that Erwin suggested. A silky white scarf caught his eye. He stroked the slick material. “That one? A little flaunty, don't you think?”

“Do rich people actually wear shit like this?” He tied it around his neck and preened in front of the mirror. Hmm. Not bad.

“Not really,” Erwin chuckled and grabbed a few plain colored ties.

“I'm keeping it.”

Their purchases were packed up after paying a small fortune at the register. After they left, Erwin informed Levi that the price was not a worry. It wouldn't be taken out of his payment for the week. He was a smart man and knew that the other would be worrying about that.

They made a few quick stops to get some casual clothing so Levi could have something other than borrowed pajamas to wear around the penthouse. He also picked out a rather extravagant pair of sunglasses and dared to convince Erwin into choosing some as well. It had been a long time since Erwin had splurged out shopping like this, so why not? Some subtle flirting on Levi's part had been a convincing factor as well in the two of them leaving the store with their glasses happily planted on their faces.

“Wait. One more thing before we go back.” The store from the morning was just ahead.

“Make it quick. What more could you possibly want?” Erwin asked in an amused voice. He was intrigued at how quickly Levi had taken to the lifestyle, not really protesting at the pampering.

The door chimed as Levi stormed in. He cleared his throat loudly, eyes flicking down to take in the dressy clothes he was now wearing. His arms were crossed in front of his chest as he waited for someone to acknowledge him, foot tapping in a mimic of the lady from earlier. A bag laden Erwin lingered behind him. Those assholes from the morning were about to receive a grim reminder not to fuck with him, or anyone like him.

“Hey. Hey morons. Remember me?” The sales people glanced around at each other, slightly worried. “Big mistake earlier. Big mistake.”

“Levi-”

Levi gestured to Erwin, who was starting to feel more than a little awkward and tried to pretend that the altercation wasn't happening.

“You stupid fucks missed out on a huge commission. My boyfriend here can buy this fucking store and burn it to the ground if he wanted to-”

“Alright. You’ve had your fun,” Erwin began to drag Levi from the store, before he said anything he might regret.

Levi wasn't finished and called one last threat as the door chimed again.“So watch yourselves!”

Once on the sidewalk, Levi yanked himself free from the other's grasp and sped forward, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Sure, it wasn't anywhere near the alley fights he was used to, but this world of mind games and manners was just as exciting, quite shockingly to him. He momentarily thought that he stepped too far but decided that no, he didn't step far enough.

Erwin sighed and guided Levi in the direction of the hotel. “Your pride will get the best of you one day.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” He muttered and brushed the concern off with a wave.

They walked a moment before Erwin laughed to himself, only now realizing something that Levi had said in the shop.

“Boyfriend?”

“Oh my god! Of all the things...” Erwin draped an arm around the smaller man's shoulders for the rest of their walk back to the hotel, thoroughly amused by their surprisingly entertaining shopping trip. Levi was proving to be even better company than he'd hoped.

\- - - - -

Levi was left alone again until Erwin returned from another round of meetings for whatever it was that he had to do. For as much money as he was swindling from this rich businessman, Levi had no idea what Erwin did for a living. Levi assumed he was some sort of lawyer or insurance broker, just seeming the type. He was way too cavalier about his sexual preferences to be a politician, Levi figured. He'd dealt with those before, though on the smaller local sale. They were always rife with secrets and repressed desires, never once thinking to flaunt Levi around like Erwin had done on Rodeo earlier. But what did he know?

The day's purchases were spread all around the living room as Levi totaled up the prices while putting together outfits for the week. He certainly had enough options to chose from now. His shameful white clothing sat folded on a side table, boots piled in the shadows there, forgotten.

Speaking of forgotten, he needed to check up on those kids. It was late in the afternoon and who knew what kind of mess they'd gotten into by now after his extended absence.

“Hello?” came a sleepy voice over the phone line.

“Thank god it's you and not Eren.”

“Levi,” Armin gasped, happy to hear his roommate's voice. “Where are you? You never came home last night.”

“I had an overnight client.”

“Oh. That's...good?”

Levi smiled to himself. The poor Arlert boy was far too innocent for this lifestyle and never knew the right comments to make when the others discussed work. “Very good.”

“Well I'm relieved you're not dead in a ditch somewhere. Oops. I mean. Wow-”

He brushed aside the tactless comment. “Stop. I get it. I'm ok.” He paused for a moment, trying to collect his words. “Actually, a lot more than ok.”

“Why's that?”

“Guess how much this fucking idiot is going to pay me.”

“You didn't get the money yet? I thought that was rule number one?”

“Rule number one is to not question me, kid. But yeah, forgot to mention that I'm staying with the guy for the whole week.”

“What? Really? What for?”

“For him to screw me.” Levi deadpanned. He could almost _feel_ the cringe on the other side of the line. “And pay me... three thousand dollars.”

“Three thousand dollars!?” Armin yelled. Ah, just the reaction Levi was fishing for. He heard a voice yell back in the background for the excited boy to quiet down. “Is that normal?”

The gruff voice in the background didn't sound like Eren. Who was in his apartment? He knew he shouldn't have abandoned those dumb kids.

“No, not really. Armin, who's there with you?

“Eren?”

“Your answer should not be a question. Who. Is. There?”

Armin sighed. “Don't get mad. But Jean may or may not have stayed the night. And he's still here. May or may not still be here, I mean.”

“I'm coming over.”

“Coming over where?”

Great. That was the all too chipper voice of Erwin, back form his afternoon meetings. What a train wreck. Levi covered the receiver of the phone and shot the new arrival an overly hammed-up smile and wink that seemed to please Erwin. The man disappeared into the bedroom, giving Levi a moment to finish up his phone call.

“Armin. Get that piece of shit out of my apartment.”

“But, I-”

“I don't give a fuck. Do it. Get rid of him. Tomorrow I want you to gather Eren up and come down to the Beverly Rose Hotel. I'll have some money for you to pay the rent. Got it?”

“Beverly Rose Hotel. Kick Jean out. Got it.”

“And keep Eren sober, ok? I've gotta go.”

He hung up the phone without waiting for a goodbye. Erwin was staring at him from the bedroom doorway, shirt discarded and leering that awful, awful grin that Levi was really beginning to fucking despise. All the decent feelings he had about the week that had developed during the shopping trip had quickly vanished.

“The hell do _you_ want?”

“We're going to dinner with my client tonight. Around seven.”

“We?”

“Yes. Your company at these events was part of the deal, remember?”

“I didn't think you'd seriously bring me to these things.”

“Why else would I have bought you those expensive suits? I want to show you off.” Ugh. Disgusting. Levi wrinkled his nose at the comment. Erwin hesitated before his next suggestion. “So. I was thinking-”

“Probably not a good decision in your case.”

“ _I was thinking_ that we have some time before we'll need to get ready.” He gestured to the bedroom behind him. “Care to join me in there before we have to put our expensive suits on?”

“Do I honestly have a choice?”

“Of course you do. But I'd really enjoy it if you joined me.” Erwin shrugged and disappeared back into the room, positive that the other would stomp in momentarily after him. Preferably _not_ stomping, but he'd take what he could get with the temperamental man.

Levi resigned to the fact that he was going in there and would be doing so many more times that week. Well, shit. He groaned and rose from the floor to follow Erwin into the bedroom. Here began his week of pure hell. It was more annoying than anything else, really. Why did this man have to be so damn polite?

He was making it extremely difficult for Levi to hate him. How unfair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm notorious for making playlists for all my dumb fics and this is [no exception](http://8tracks.com/theghostbusters/3000).  
> the titles for the chapters are all coming from 'celebrity skin' by hole. it's on the mix. 
> 
> [main tumblr](http://theghostbusters.tumblr.com/) & [snk only](http://aarlertarmin.tumblr.com/).


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